Unemploymentosphere

an Amazing WordPress.com site

Springing Into Summer

Spring fever’s blog, trip planning date: 130528: 18

[I keep shifting tenses and if I go back to make them consistent, I’ll probably get lazy, save the file and forget to go back to it. So t/here you go.]

I got the summer edition of my local weekly and I poured thru it looking for things to do this summer. The past couple of years I was such a tight ass with money I didn’t do anything, except for pay off a credit card. That was quite worth it

This summer I’m deciding to “get back to the innocence.” There are so many things that have been ruined, made me jaded, by news fearing terrorism, documentaries exposing the evils of people, drug culture, manipulative women, chemicals in food, reality shows, class warfare, etc.

It’s also been a good writing exercise, looking at all the age groups for when we had the best times before the shitty thing(s) happened.

When you’re a kid at home, you get to play with toys (I‘m old, pre video games), look at tv to see cartoons. When I was a kid, afternoon tv wasn’t tabloid trash, it was reruns of black and white abbott Costello movies, our gang, etc.

Some kids were lucky enough that their parents took them to theme parks over summer or spring break or x-mas. Some parents just stuck their kids in summer camp, left to teenagers who totally should not be in charge of kids. Others were left to fend riding bikes around the neighborhood.

If you got a bike for x-mas, the whole neighborhood opened up. You get to cruise with your friends, hang out in front of the liquor store. You can pedal to the mountains and stream and parks. I remember it rained on us one time and we thought it was cool, like an epic battle against the wind and rains, like we saw pirates do on tv. Of course you go to the mall, arcades, the movies too at the cheap dollar theater. I think those are replaced with netflix and red box for the most part, sad.

In high school, if you passed you’re driving and got a car from your parents, then the whole town opened up! On the weekend we could drive to the beach! There was one main drag we went to cruise on the weekend.

There were a couple near me. On the east side there was the infamous King & Story, the low rider capitol of the south bay in the late 70’s. While people in new york were at discos, people in my hood were bouncing cars and getting into it with cops where I grew up.

A historical marker situated along El Camino Real.

A historical marker situated along El Camino Real. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The other was a section of the King’s Highway, El Camino Real, a section of California route 82. I remembered it went from Wolfe road in Cupertino, where everyone circled back and sometimes cops picked that as their spot to nab cruisers. The south-east end was debatable, it changed. But it seemed to be blocks ease of the Lawrence expressway intersection, exactly where is the debatable part. It was to deter the cop checkpoint situation.

Next thing you know, most people went to college and all the holidays became spring break, x-mas break, summer or as soon as finals were over. Then we took road trips or flew. The country opened up to us.

A big exotic thing in the bay area was to fly to Cancun or Hawaii, which I never understood. The stories were the same of how we got drunk at the beach, bought shot glasses and screwed up trying to get laid. I did all that in Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk for much cheaper. and got to go to Monterey when I felt like taking a more “mature, cultured” trip.

Santa Cruz, California - Boardwalk

Santa Cruz, California – Boardwalk (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I have some ideas on what to do this spring to get those exploration feelings back. Haven’t even gotten into after college/ 20 somethings trips yet…

2013/05/28 Posted by | Single malts | , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

breaking out of Groundhog Day is finding a way not to try

This is going to be something of a week, historical. Which 2 seasons of MASH would describe it best?

Also, it’s been an interesting week of dvd’s from the library. Some of the possibly symbolic movies availible were Synecdoche new york, Brazil and Groundhog’s day. There are all these “dark” remakes: batman, battlestar galactica, but they have happier endings. Bleak movies and tragedies, now those are movies with balls. I’m pretty sure dystopic movies are to men what chick flick rom coms are to women. Instead of crying, those movies make us want to drink or go out in anger and shoot things (for me, in a video game). Whack a mole gets out more anger, but all the kids look at you with apprehension. I also got mean girls, I also saw before. I needed a hot actresses movie, but smart. Odd.

Cover of "Synecdoche New York"

Cover of Synecdoche New York

I got so many of my “1 timer” errands done, I scramble for something exciting or “juicy” this week. Most of what I have to do are 8-9 projects that I’ve been picking away at. For mon- Thursday, I prioritized in descending order which ones could make me money, maybe not necessarily the most, but the most immediate.

For the weekend, I overlapped a couple per day and these are things that require me to go back and sort thru things, like paper filing that I pick and pare away at. Someday I’m going to blow out a very large paper shredder with the 4 boxes of paper and growing.

This week is the last opportunity I have to go to Santa Cruz beach boardwalk before they go to weekend operation for the fall. I went to the fair and was happy, fighting off a couple of bouts of sadness. I have to evaluate in my head how much I need to do one more summer-y thing. I’ve been so smart with money, I now see a day in Santa Cruz as sacrificing a weekly credit card payment. I haven’t been able to make much progress since spring as it is. It bothers me.

Late evening at the Boardwalk

Late evening at the Boardwalk (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

When I’ve had jobs, I piss away the money as I get it. I criticize people for being stupid in doing that and here I am wanting to do that with no income. The most important goal I can make a dent on is paying off that one credit card. I seem to think I need to treat myself to something new, to maybe inspire me, or just let me have fun.

I allotted myself a “fun” budget in the form of netflix, all the classic tv series and documentaries in my mailbox 6 days a week. When I’m lucky, I get a classic on Saturday I have an extra day to watch. Then I have the free dvds I check out from the library, for all my random movie curiosities. Also, the books there that promise to solve all my problems. I have read more books that I ever did in school and have no kind of diploma or certificate for my accomplishments, just a PhD in “street smarts.”

You know the classic angel and devil on your shoulder arguing about what you should do? I recently became obsessed with deciding what 2 characters sit on my shoulders since I’m atheist. I’ve decided that whatever embodies “bad” is snaky, sarcastic, selfish, narcissist. So basically a socialite with a reality show with a life stuck in tabloids.

And then whatever I choose to represent good isn’t morning talk show/ morning radio zoo cheery, but they’re optimistic. They see opportunities. They’re also punk rock, fuck the establishment, do your own thing, create art that hasn’t been done before. Don’t fake happiness, but actually feel it. I scramble every week to find the magic that I know people saw in me when I was in college or one of the many jobs I made fun for other people while thinking it was a lead filled backpack for me.

I don’t know what to call it, but I’m afraid to have fun unless I’m being productive and/ or learning something. I can readily see how being unemployed is advantageous when I look down at someone else’s cubicle, but it’s tough to maintain when I don’t get that little piece of paper every other Friday that would get me more than a kid’s happy meal when I go out.

I think back to all the interviews that got me the job. I presented my case like I do now, and follow a bunch of “this but not that“s. I’m doing something I can’t even see on videotaping myself that doesn’t get the same result. So it goes back to those 3 phone numbers. What if more than 1 is fucking me over. I really just want to know which or what, so I can deal with it instead of trying to punch a ghost blindfolded.

This is going to be something of a week, historical. 2 years ago on the 31st, it’s the day I threw the rest of my things in a moving truck and left my girlfriend and city I love to move back here to shitstain, California, with my only support, companion and friend being my pretty girl cat.

2012/08/27 Posted by | random trains of thought- choo choo | , , , , , , , | Leave a comment