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Comedy Podcast Therapy

podcast blog, stream date: 131209:20

Maybe last year, I dabbled in podcasts from comedians I enjoy (and in one case I actually didn’t). Keep your enemies closer, that bothered me. Some days I have to analyze them, try to figure out what’s going on. If I do that, the realization becomes I’m obsessing on them, so I cut ties. And then I question my behavior because I quit. I hate when people quit over something as lame as a disagreement. Aren’t there married couples with opposite political beliefs? How do they do that?

So each podcast I listened to had a guest that led to another. The obvious barometer could be do they have cool guests? Yeah, I listened to those. But then after a few, I pick an episode where they don’t have guests or in some cases even a co-host (if they have one). Could they carry the ball on their own?

I have over 30 pod casts, probably approaching 40 that I’m listening to. It’s clearly the talk show format that tv and terrestrial radio failed to give us. Commercials are like stds and I don’t want to get infected by a lot of those big retailers. Podcasts if they have ads, venture into online ads, the “new frontier.”

Online businesses that don’t have brick and mortar and don’t at least appear to be outsourced outside US are still a big mystical quality to them. And yet these magical online businesses also contribute to massive unemployment in the US. Production is automated or outsourced to sweatshops that don‘t have unions to protect minors/ employees rights. Technology IS replacing the American worker.

Books have become the education I can afford. The vocational classes I want to take cost $hundreds, while their books I could still check out or buy at a fraction. I just don’t get the degree. But all those people with degrees working fast food and retail aren’t much of an incentive, either.

The more pod casts I listen to, the more I hear that people “in the business” had parents that were in it. They took their kid to work one day and they were caught in the spell. Comedians seem to come from a few places and honestly, I’m reasonably past the point to be in a male a capella group in NYU.

Celebrities always talk about how lucky they were to get that first big break. But they lived in l.a., where agents and bookers hang out at comedy clubs on their night off. Every child that makes the news because they did some incredible thing had parents that put them in a certain school, or contacted make a wish whose business it was to call around to broker people looking for charitable publicity.

I always look for those that haven’t gotten their break yet and have plucked away at their trade for over a decade. When I hear about someone who finally made it, I can believe. Those fictional sports movies/ shows are such bullshit to me. It’s fake, they didn’t win anything!? The script said so, of course they were confident, there were no actual stakes!? Even if it’s a recreation the actors are too pompous. Each minute on the field, it’s adrenaline. You never know if you make those last critical points. You can make the best shot and still lose the big game and all your support groups disappear after that.

Podcasts let me know people are still plucking away out there. Many celebs wind up talking about what they talk about with therapists. With the guest and the host trying to figure out what those dry spell problems are, what they mean.. Hey, free therapy for me as I ask the same questions.

 

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2013/12/09 Posted by | Single malts | , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Skip this, you’re likely to find something offensive.

Open mic blog, poetry date 130527:14

Whenever I think I may be doing something wrong or immoral,
Then I see the news and see many, many people injured/ arrested for doing illegal things.

Whenever I think I ask too many things,
Then I think of parents, bosses and teachers who never taught to question authority.

Whenever I think I explain myself too much,
Then I realize people are really upset by hearing their words fed back to them.

Whenever I think I feel hostile,
Then I see how someone ruined their day/ event by acting out on it.

Whenever I think I worry too much,
Then I listen to a pod cast with a celebrity I look up to and their worries.

Whenever I think I’m not doing enough to eat or live healthier,
Then I hear how others talk about how many times they’ve had to go to the doctor.

Whenever I think I’m not applying enough,
Then I look around and see how many others are not out during those 3 hours/ mon-thu.

Whenever I think I play mind games,
Then I think of the chess masters of this and how empty their lives are now.

Whenever I think I hear a commercial catchphrase too much,
Then I feel better about not being easily influenced to buy such inferior products.

Whenever I think I may not be patriotic enough,
Then I look at all the imported logo things people wear without even knowing why.

Whenever I hear people complaining about being single,
Then I realize how comfortable I am with myself.

Whenever I think there are going to be more emergency funding cut,
Then I see how natural disasters and crime waves hit those communities.

Whenever I think I want to have kids,
Then I see a food court or a report about earth’s resources depleting

Whenever I think I am too quiet or “bottle it in,”
Then I see someone else who does nothing but complain and spout made up lies out of desperation.

But then….

After there’s weather destruction on the news,
I see people volunteer to help strangers and I give blood

After I see funds disappear or are misappropriated in a charity,
I donate time instead of money and it turns out to be far more rewarding

After a parent yells or abuses their kid,
I know I already treat children better than they can (and I try to find some way for “a nearby official” to intervene)

After I see people camping overnight for a new electronic or movie,
I have more pride for those of us who protest and picket against greed and corruption

After I see kids in high school detecting and even curing cancers,
I have hope that kids are not home playing video games and wasting their lives away

After I see people trapped in a crowded living arrangement,
I don’t feel bad about being “alone.”

After I see employees not to anything to solve that recurring problem (“it‘s always been like that”),
I come up with more ways to solve my own problems one Last time.

After I see people hoard their “friends” on face book and cell phones,
I feel a lot better about my little list of closer friends I actually talk with/ spend time with every week.

After a friend takes offense after something I’ve said or done,
I’m glad to tell them I didn’t mean them, tell them who I did mean and sadly agree that they‘ll probably won’t admit what they did was wrong.

When I see people stand around doing nothing,
I will not (be made to) feel bad about speaking up or taking action against the problem.

After I see solar and recycling developments and policies forming,
I am happier that people are running out of excuses to not care about polluting the world.

After years of eating fast/ junk food,
I am happier to have a diet with less chemicals and preservatives and instead fresher “basics” than ever before.

After I hear people complaining about their spouses,
I realize how awesome my single adventures are.

After seeing spam and flame wars online,
I am relieved to see intelligent, logical, competent and sound contributions on the web.

2013/05/27 Posted by | random trains of thought- choo choo | , , , , , | Leave a comment

Summer status update

Catch up blog, easier date 120721.02
(man, will I have to go back and revise the old ones?)

First, I’m sorry. I know. I’ve been trying to keep busy “in the real world.” I do get caught up sharing political hypocrisy on fb, but I have a feeling it’s on blind eyes. Chances are, most people on my friends list hid my statuses. FB is a cruel bitch, you can have someone on your “friends” list and yet block things you post. It’s probably the most passive aggressive friendships you can have online. I need to check in on there maybe once a day.

Another vice I (have) had is watching people play video games with commentary on you tube. I kinda like it. I watch some guy play batman ark hams while he makes comments that are pretty much Mystery Science Theater 3000. Saves me 1) from buying and wasting months on the game and 2) I don’t have to deal with congesting my computer loading it and finding I can’t get it to work, which happened the last time I bought a game years ago.

I also have listened to pod casts, a lot of them originate from southern California. And a lot of guests have their own pod casts and I listen to those and notice some celebrities do the rounds on all the previous. One I like talk with people in the business that haven’t actually hit it big but they’re also not tabloid exposure whores. There’s a network of stand up comedians, actors, performers and you tube video makers. I look for something like that in this area and I struggle to find a little crazy brash group to have fun with and make a show of some kind. I had that energy before and I’m in much need of cultivating that pilot light again. Playing the pod casts lets me get a lot of filing and my sorting, amazon sales projects done around the living room.

My cat’s health: her legs appear to be weaker. She won’t get up to follow her red light (laser) bug anymore. I try to get her to walk around by putting her food, water and litter in different corners of the condo. I don’t want her legs to atrophy more. She’s also had diarrhea and it appears that today she was constipated. I realize her meat based diet must be giving her gas, constipation and upset stomach, but it’s not like I can get her to eat a salad. She does like ranch, though. There are some cat food w/ vegetable pieces I get and I make sure none of her food has by-products. It’s been a bitch to stay busy because any money I come across is earmarked for groceries and cat food and her needs. Even a daily bus pass is a large dent in finances.

In the morning, I ride around on my bicycle since the weather is cooler and the idiots are still asleep for the most part. It’s too hot in the afternoon. I hate bay area humidity, it makes my clothes stink, I hate itchy sweat. I miss desert heat, just keep drinking water. If I drink a lot of water here, I just sweat it out and stink more.

I have a lot of things on my summer calendar to do that haven’t been getting done. I’ve done a couple of free things, but I need to get out more. I need something to look forward to. I want to save up for a day to take the express bus over the hill to Santa Cruz for the day, costs only $10, but I want to make sure I have money to last more than a meal and actually have some fun there. Plus, I have felt guilty about staying to far away from my cat for too long.

My poor girl has had some seizures that have made her understandably depressed and afraid to over exert herself. I play with her, I use my kid voice and smile, and it probably makes me happier too trying to cheer her up with kitty games.

There’s a problem I’ve been having. Since the present and future are unstable, I’ve been reminiscing about the past maybe too much. I want to make August “future month.” and that also means looking at things that all the current trends I’ve written off. I want to see why people are so into immediacy instead of making things that last. Pop culture is so disposal and to the minute trendy, the internet has become an interactive remote control. I want to keep it a learning place, not a gossip place. I want to keep it educational, not entertainment, or at least infotainment. Things that will help me make money, get a job, not distract me. Tough to find consistency in that area.

I have to keep posting. I let myself get down. This is my message in a bottle to the world, I have to keep sending them out from my deserted isle.

2012/07/21 Posted by | random trains of thought- choo choo | , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

21 Questionnaire Salute

These are the 21 questions a web page I like asks of it’s interviewees. Do you know what it is?

1) Please explain what just happened.
Typical morning, my cat woke me to be fed and now I’m listening to Adam Carolla pod cast as I type something.

2) What is your earliest memory?
I don’t know if it’s a memory so much as knowing I did it from pictures. I was in a chicken coop at my Grandfathers playing with the chickens. I do remember other things about that time.

3) If you weren’t a [  ] what other profession would you choose?
If I weren’t unemployed? The job I “choose” is serving. Even though people are cheaper than ever, walking with a days worth of tips is far better than waiting 2 weeks for a paycheck that get’s pissed away the hour it hits my account. Damn, I wish jobs would pay weekly, but that would invite you to call bullshit on your time card from 13 days ago and who wants to stop your whole check on that. Corporate bullshit.

4) Describe a typical work day.
After Carolla, I’ll troll the useless job ads on the net long enough for me to microwave & eat a cheese potato. I plan my day, decide if I’ll go out and what for. When I do, it’s to apply at jobs or go to the store for groceries or pet food. Since I make my own schedule, I actually tend to stay in sat/ sun to avoid the weekend consumers and go out on Tuesdays/ weds when they’re all locked in their jobs. I make a list of something to write about. I write up at least a page by the end of the day. Sprinkle a chore or 2, feed and pet my cat. that’s it for now, desperately looking for something to put on the calendar I can look forward to. Today I plan on going to Santa Cruz for Cinco de Mayo. Should only cost me $20 to get there and back, have a couple of beers and lunch. Take shitload of pics/vids and walk around.

5) Is there a time you wish you’d lied?
Sometimes I wish it was about the last time I moved, but I’d be in a world of debt and lost even more than I have somehow already. I’d bet I’d be on the street without my cat even.

6) What would you say to yourself if you could go back in time and have a conversation with yourself at age thirteen?
There’s a book based on this, right down to the age. I’d tell myself to get a tow truck license and buy a motor home. Go to Grand Canyon ASAP to avoid 90% of the consumer shit I’ve been involved in for over 2 wasteful decades of my life. Respect resources, avoid collecting anything. Everything you need can fit in a car, honestly.

7) If you could have only one album to get you through a breakup, what would it be?
I love that you use album, because that’s what music releases are. No goddamn “did you download the new mp3 w/ the app that will all crash leaving you with nothing less than 5 years from now?” That being said, I’d have to say either a rockabilly compilation or even a country/ western album. They make me feel happy and a little sad at the same time.

8) What are three websites—other than your email—that you check on a daily basis?
e-mail? I check that maybe once a month and spend most of that flagging spam that never gets blocked the following month. I check 1) youtube for my weekly favorites. There are some people putting out good stuff more than once a week which I think is impressive. 2) Adam carolla pod cast, most of his rants speak for me and keep me from ranting online so much as well. 3) some Vegas news source. Sometimes it’s Las Vegas Sun, sometimes it’s one of a dozen Vegas news pages I have bookmarked in it‘s own folder.  Sometimes it’s fox 5, which is a bit of a twist. I loathe fox, but the newscasters are my favorite. Plus they have The Rant.

9) From what or whom do you derive your greatest inspiration?
It comes down to me reading books. My mind is so fucked, it goes on auto criticize. It goes back and pulls some shitty times into the present, even when I don’t want them to. It’s all these elimination shows and cop procedural shows that basically teaches you everyone is bullshitting you, you need to judge and keep pursuing the lie. I try to stop watching all these shows. So it comes back to me, I ultimately snap myself out of my bad mood even though I look for an external inspiration. Books are the last great classic art and I spend more time reading what’s supposed to be non-fiction. There’s a surprising amount of fictional liberties people use in non-fiction, I.e. “compiling” character traits into one “representative person.”

Wow, I’m not even half way thru this and I’m at my page length. Hm. I’ll continue this later. Join me for the exciting conclusion, esp if you know the questions.

2012/05/05 Posted by | random trains of thought- choo choo | , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Elusive happiness

Writer’s blog,  bar date 66161.58*
*I’ll explain this soon enough

I’ve spent the past couple of years thinking about what happiness is, how I can have it and how I can’t let it get away from me.

Yeah, yeah, it’s your point of view and your attitude. But honestly, when you think about it, we’re also influenced easily by who’s in the room or what movie/ tv show you saw. Sadly, a lot of my attitude in 2011 was watching the news, far too much of it. Now that I have streaming, watching more Onion and Daily Show allows me to see that others see the absurdity of things I see.

I also listen to Adam Carolla’s podcast. When I rant and complain, a few people laugh and it took me awhile to focus on what they’re laughing at. People love a good Seinfeld– type breakdown. Unfortunately when I’m in it, I’m already pissed and my immediate reaction is being pissed at the person I thought was close enough to allow me to vent about what’s really bothering me. Now, I can look back and use those things.

Of course I have tough loved others for complaining about less. I feel sorry for the others with no jobs, living in shelters. I don’t feel so bad about people getting into accidents on ski trips, mountain climbing, the polo field or cruise ships. In an instant I think my humanity suffers, but I think I also fall into enable mode and write it off as they got themselves there instead of spending wiser.

Even when I had money in the bank and making the most I ever had, I kept things to simple pleasures. We still shopped at the dollar store for disposable basics, I still at a lot of groceries that had the least chemicals I accept. Las Vegas is so damn great with the free entertainment. And there’s always a contest in every business you enter that doesn’t cost anything to enter if you don’t do the up sells and spending “in the area” that casinos excel at.

Happiness is all about money? I have read about plenty of Zen and Buddhism the past couple of years. I’m not happy with the way western influence has damaged my body and my mind. Thoughts still creep in my mind that buying something or taking a costly vacation somewhere will make me happy. I want to live simpler and yet enjoy where I work, the dream.

I have observed that in the past, when I get a job I go out more and buy more things. And I see other people spend like drunken sailors. People find ways to treat their paycheck away and then realize bills are due after their big nights out.

I see how Buddhist monks and even the Amish are happy, living simply and sustainable. I also understand the reality of living in the United States in the 21st century. I have to succumb to some sparing technology. I spend a lot of time trying to decide what “future” technology I will accept. For the most part, I see what industries that are closing because of what can be read online, downloaded or uploaded. I understand I need to be a factory and not a warehouse to live life.

Also, I’ve spent the past couple of years going thru old boxes of shit to see what made me happy back then. I did buy a lot of crap with some job. I also accumulated a lot of boxes of free stuff. Whenever there’s something people are getting rid of, if I can use it “someday” I’ll take it. I’ve noticed I’ve been a box hoarder.

It’s not as bad as the clips I’ve seen on the hoarder shows, but everything was in boxes. It’s too much for me, 1 person to have. I got that from my mother and I fight it every week, not to buy anything. I’m on a Brewster’s millions spending plan. And it includes limiting getting stuff for free.

There are things that I see that will make me happy that I don’t have the money to do. I want to hang out with co workers for a few happy hour beers. I want to go for a walk late at night without a coat or fear for my safety. I want to take my weekend trips and I have my plan on how I can incorporate that, with a trade down the line.

Good food makes me happy. I have learned to cook and enjoy my bulk food in my unemployment. I spend more time with my cat that I love. She’s very old now. This is her retirement. I hope she can be with me after I’ve saved and can leave this place. It’s a trap to compare yourself to others. It think it’s also bad to belittle or gloat those “below” you. I know where I was at my best, I try week after week to get myself at least back to that place, regardless of how long I see it taking now. I have no other direction to go.

There are ways I’ve been happier than I have in years. It’s different. I feel for the Tibetans. They’re happy, but they get taken advantage of and I worry something socioeconomic is happening to me the same way. I want to be happy where I am now, but I also want to make money again. It’s conflicting. It’s an argument for materialism and the joneses I’m not happy with. I want to be self-sufficient the way I was a few years ago, money in my pocket. Not describing money as what I have “to my name.”

Writing makes me happy. I can revisit places I’m not finished with. I can laugh with people on our adventures that have gone on without me. As I pare down my possessions, I pull memories triggered from them to hopefully support my ambition as a writer and yet pack another box for Savers.

2012/02/28 Posted by | Single malts | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment