Unemploymentosphere

an Amazing WordPress.com site

Winter has begun

Blogdate: 121209:21

I feel like Marc Maron, I’m going to start off with another apology. Of all things, I should have blogged about my favorite holiday, Halloween. Or the importance of voting, which turns out people realized and waited in line hours, even after the polls closed 8:00 pacific. Us poor people really sick of millionaires writing policy to screw us, in laws, at work.

So here we are, a week-ish before xmas. I’m already thinking ahead to new years. I remember the feeling of that countdown, the hopes and looking at the bright lights and people kissing off the old year. Even the biggest pessimists look forward to the hopes of a new year. I wonder where best to celebrate. Normally, I’d love it to be Fremont St. in Vegas, but it’s a bunch of 80’s glam rock bands. I always chicken out from San Francisco because where am I going to sleep after? The damn public transportation will shut down when the bars do, not hours after as it would be convenient to us holiday binge drinkers.

So, I have been twittering, you guys got to see some of those posts. I love twitter, I honestly have been on my other evil twitter pundit profile. I spew out all my anger from the news there. It’s a neat little Pandora’s box of anger to rage in like a Klingon.

My search for work bounces between 3 categories: 1) regular bullshit applying, which is a ridiculous ritual at this point but I have to keep doing it to do it; 2) searching for ways I can make money online, thru writing and selling shit and somehow developing a base site that I can have tons of ads to annoy you; 3) I pick a city every week to research, not only for work but for the culture.

Can I bear it politically? Is public transit a nightmare or cutting age around the clock? Not cut to shit by the budget. Is there burlesque and rockabilly there? Are there fun, annual events? What weather calamities will I have to face? Freezing my ass off? Humid, rainy mold? Stinky, dehydrating heat and sand storms? Floods, tornadoes, tsunamis? It gets a bit superficial, but where I live should be planned like a vacation. Basically, can I stand the people there?

In no order, I have or still am considering in no particular order: Albuquerque, NM, some blue county in Arizona if not NM; southern California, honestly Hollywood for the comedy clubs and improv classes, maybe Buena Park a close second. I love Knott’s Berry farm even though I have odd non-statistical and hopefully outdated feelings about the surrounding neighborhoods;

Also, I’m considering with a friend in a place I’m not naming right now. It’s complicated to get to. But we talk a lot. She keeps me from going insane, as I breakdown a lot of nights in anguish at my unemployment. She’s the only 1 left to listen. It’s not so frequent, now. Books make me happy, learning about business, history, etc. Books are another blog.

What else? Don’t know if I could bear deep red Texas, but Austin would be the place, if any. I wish Seattle wasn’t as cloudy and gloomy as my mind is convinced and people try to convince me not; I don’t know about Oregon. I saw Portlandia, it’s quirky. If the area is like the show, I might as well live in Berkeley for the same thing, closer.

I made a landmark achievement: I paid off my 1 credit card of $750 limit, yes without a job, selling crap and somehow staying above my weekly groceries and utilities. I don’t think I succeeded some weeks. So I’m trying to save now. I believe I can afford a bus trip 1 way to any place in the country, maybe beyond. But I need to save up more since I’d probably rack up my card on the way there, let alone staying wherever for even a week.

As it looks, now, I need to put myself in a situation of someone’s couch. It’s horrible for the host and the loser on the couch. I don’t really know how it can work. Once I’m on a couch, I’ll have no way to get back, no security in finding a job unless the “friend” knows “everyone” in town and can hook me up. And if I run out of money, I’ll be away from the rest of my possessions I could sell.

My breaking point is in 2013. I have to get a job, leave this condo and live my own life. I’m so worn out, I really deserve a break since I work harder than people with jobs.

 

2012/12/09 Posted by | random trains of thought- choo choo | , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

What side are we on?

Writer’s blog, bardate 66270.66

When it comes down to it, I think I have 2 choices when I blog, positive or negative. I have, online before isolated people when I rant because it’s usually in the form of “us vs. them.” I get bombarded by things society pushes on me all day that I put up with, but then I go online and perpetuate it by bombarding you. And I do realize that you may have had nothing to do with the things that get pushed on me all week and that my frustration may come out of nowhere to you, even setting you off when our beliefs differ.

I am confused and troubled on how to get out of “the situation I‘m in.” But I find that this is a constant, even when I was employed, even when I had things I don’t now. So I look to all kinds of things I hadn’t considered before, try to look at things from another point of view. Try to find out how to enjoy where I am in life without comparing now to when things were better or what others have “more of“ than I do, an impossibly can’t win standard.

Realistically, a lot of other points of view I checked out have just proven themselves to be exactly as stupid and narrow-minded as I imagined them to be. Then there’s a middle category, where I can understand where they’re coming from, even though my belief is still different.

Each issue has sides to it. I was going to write a blog a few weeks ago on how we’re conditioned to think everyone is an asshole. And I’m not even getting into a discussion about politics, religion or sports, which I put in the order I thought had the most effects to society. See, you may already be thinking different here.

TV or not TV: I may be about 5 years too late for this, but since I started writing in this blog regularly for a few months I suppose I can chalk it up to “back story.” I didn’t have cable tv since I spent a week horrified of 9/11 reports. I allowed myself to be sucked into the fear, and yet I still wasn’t frightened into voting for Bush (either time). I haven’t had broadband for a while til this January, since I scored it for cheap, less than $20/ mo (netzero.net), a couple bucks more than they offered for their dial-up that I put up w/ a few years.

I don’t watch a lot of tv, what I rent on Netflix are movies and tv shows that I factor from the “best of” what I’ve missed in the past decade I was partying in Vegas.

Before that, I believed in a “future’s future.” That meant I liked all the Star Trek Shows. And I’m not talking about the freaky aliens, I’m talking about how races of Earth were together, going out discovering & helping other cultures w/ their problems. There was a hierarchy for organizations you could believe in. Trek may have had corrupt people in systems, but whether you were Federation or Klingon, or whatever, you didn’t think the organization itself was in shambles as the organizations that basically run our society.

It’s interesting to look back to see what the future was supposed to be. When Star Trek was on, the future didn’t have anything to do with “reality tvkim kardashian, jersey shore type shows. It wasn’t led by socialites in trouble with the law, the paris hilton, or lindsey lohan, or the celebrities battling with their weight and botched cosmetic surgeries. It’ didn’t have anything to do with drugs, food and water supplies that we couldn’t trust. Nor did it involve power, electric or the gas that runs our vehicles to get more expensive, resources that was not only running lower, but polluting our planet. It didn’t have anything to do with all our electronics being networked on a new system, this internet, that is far more unstable that governments themselves have been hacked repeatedly on it. We’re all supposed to be logical scientists with tricorders working on “higher” levels of problems.

I have my interests that are often in the minority I admit. When “everyone” likes something, I find a reason to pick into it’s popularity, aside from being middle of the road, bland, sold out, the corporation that sponsored it, made in China, etc.

But, I’m trying. I look back and at every job, I’ve gone along with the others, I picked my battles. I put up with a lot of shit, but then find myself in a position that when I finally need something people don’t rally behind me to help me out, as I’ve done time and time again for them. I read psych books that say, if people bother you so much, stop hanging around them. This isolates me. I’m supposed to go out there into new environments to “network,” and find new opportunities, that I reluctantly do every week.

And by the way, are the unemployed sitting at home any less anti-social than going out with your friends every night to have your head stuck in an igadget?

I could write a supplemental list of sides of issues that I think about every day.

Next week, I’m considering writing about my cat. I think she deserves some blog time. And hopefully it’ll be a happier topic, for my head.

Any other topic suggestions?

2012/04/08 Posted by | Single malts | , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment