an Amazing WordPress.com site

Summertime, Back In The Day Is Now

Summer’s blog, fair date 201307:16

One of the biggest paradoxes in writing is that when everything is busy and exciting there’s “no time” to write. And when you have time, things are boring, slow or you’re depressed so it’s harder to write because you have to capture the excitement of when things were great and your consciousness was expanded, etc. And whatever good time is had, you take into overtime (over your weekly routine) as long as you can make it last, really.

Enlightenment is a frail, I believe living creature. It can escape you, it can move on or even retreat in the past waiting to see if you remember or learn from it. You can only have it alone to enjoy, briefly. It’s like when you come back from vacation. Everything is wonderful because you are glowing and people have to dial you down, reel you in, knock you back down. Society does this. Peers do this. Sit coms do this. They make sure you’re knocked back to your weekly status quo.

I got mine back.

I’ve read books on behaviors, habits and obligations. The past few years, I have gotten to do so much on my own without compromise, restrictions or obligations I often wonder how I could possibly go back to taking orders from a mentally detached shift manager and ass kissing, back stabbing coworkers and thankless customers that patronize a business looking for a cheap miracle.

But July has been a burst of 3-4 outings that have made me feel so much better about things. I did a Trek manoeuver trope and “reversing the polarity” of a problem I’ve horribly self-imposed for a few years. Confidence and assertiveness is also a complicated mesh to navigate thru, to not get snagged on arrogance or overbearing.

The whole point of this summer for me is to go back and do some of the things on my own that I couldn’t enjoy the first time, or things I haven’t done in over a decade. I did plenty of research on what is also booming business wise, so I don’t go to a “dead” events/ places. Some festivals and special events I want to be busy to enjoy.

I had a great experience going to a neighboring county fair. It captured the spirit of the fair I remembered from the past and still present with technology. It was so many things, local artists, diy-ers and farmers. So much food, so much community. And I met someone, or rather she met me. And that led to an over-nighter to next day-er. And that led to quite a second date, this time the home game. 3rd on deck…

It looks like I’m discovering and realizing my role with women I go out with, now. It’s like those post apocalyptic movies, you have the “Doc” of the faction the protag finds himself in, the sage older guy with the young cute hunter/ armed girlfriend/ partner on missions. Yeah… that’s a better place to be than these dopey fuddy duddy dads I’ve seen, silenced by their sassy house-led wife. Or worse, the anti-hero violent tendencies dad.

It’s theoretically tougher to do some things like movies and museums with all the kids out for summer, but strangely is still empty from what I remember summers to be. Kids are just home gaming and watching tv, I know it. I stay away from malls, I know they’re in there, too. It’s not even fun anymore to cruise the mall as a pick me up, passing the island of tired, waiting guys sitting with their woman’s shopping bags.

On the 4th, I went to my local annual baseball game, followed with the only fireworks show in town. I have no idea why movies can’t capture the baseball going experience. Movies have to emphasize their calculated wacky diverse team on their obligated wining season. Sit coms are locked to their bleacher set so they can get into it with the person sitting next to them. Yawnsville. There’s so much going on at a game, it’s really it’s own movie.

I have 3 plans for August for the big summer finale, including going to Santa Cruz!



2013/07/07 Posted by | Single malts | , , , , , , | Leave a comment

What do you do with a winning lottery ticket?

Writer’s blog, bar date 66215.58

Things are still down financially for me. And against my better judgement, I plunk down a little for the lottery every week if not twice a week, like the starving mother of 3 puts in the last of her pocket change in that basket during the Sun morning sermon.

I know a list of why this is wrong, but the reason I do do it (huh huh) is for the following:

1) I lived in Vegas. I’m used to a certain amount of gambling. In a casino, I’m used to getting a few free rounds of beer on the copper mines (penny machines) the cocktailers hate like the plague. Tip one well and in advance, the more likely you’ll see her again before you dust that beer. I’d go thru weeks where people won around me and it drove me nuts, but I didn’t play. Everyone has dreams of hitting a royal or Megabucks in Vegas. In fact, I only play lottery in $3 increments, as a tribute to putting 3 credits in for max payout Megabucks. “Play” is a warm, fuzzy word Vegas uses to distract you from acknowledging you’re gambling your life savings and kid’s college money and mortgage money away.

2) I’m not greedy. I don’t have lofty dreams of winning the mega multi-billion interstates jackpot. My dreams lie within winning the “simple” $2k-$12k range. Enough to get my one credit card and the fridge stocked with some job searching money thrown in.

3) Relating to that, I play the state lottery, especially when the commercials build the frenzy of the growing interstate mega jackpot. Sometimes I’m hesitant to give secrets, but like in Vegas, there’s always some guy willing to tell you his system while we’re sitting at a bar at 2:00 in the afternoon on a weekday and not in a mansion getting banged by implant strippers. I’d rather win a small state lottery than share a huge jackpot with a few other people- how the hell did they get my numbers?

There’s more, but I’m already halfway thru my page, I’ll drop some of those wisdom gems later. I don’t have “extra” money every week, so it’s not like I’m grossly addicted, either. I haven’t even gotten into number picking & betting pace yet…

So, I win. I wrote a list of things I’d do like a lot of people do, but mine is very detailed from a legal standpoint. There’s a lawyer involved. I have a financial adviser, too, but after Bernie Madoff, I’ll likely ditch that part. I suppose this paragraph is for a huge jackpot, I’d spend some time figuring out how to invest it so I can live off dividends after taxes.

But more realistically, if I won a few thousand, I have a list of things I need to buy, “one timers.” I don’t want to buy anything that has a monthly payment. That’s where lottery/ jackpot winners/ celebrities screw up. They buy a mansion and are screwed w/ maintenance. Or gamblers blow it at the high end stores designed to do just that in Vegas. It’s like when the girl scouts hang out at ATMS. Hey, while you’re here with money…

There are some things I can’t build capital fast enough to do now in a category I’ll call synergy. Everything and most people increasing their income are a brand name. It’s why people blog and tweet and push their books, seminars and subscription services on everyone. I have a few free accounts now that I pick at, but don’t really contribute to. It goes back to confidence. Even when I have it in myself, it’s like carrying other people’s weight if I tried to tell them I’m okay, but not making money.

So I’d have some money so I could go around town and do things that would let me make some videos. I even need a starving college ramen budget to do that now, I think. That’s more shame. I go out and do free things and meet people and then it comes to “let’s go hang out at a bar” or go some place I can’t afford and new acquaintances go on without me and get too busy to call, ever.

Most importantly, I’d take a couple of classes I can’t afford right now, one is a trade school so I could get my class A license and be a tow driver. It’s one of the few truck driving jobs that could keep me in the town I live in. But I do know there’s repo work and accidents where there are basically dead people. I have had experiences like that, from a theme park I worked at. More recollections for later. (I’m very literal in not calling them stories, the shit happened.)

So, that’s what I’d do w/ a few thousand at least. If I won mega, I have an extended list that gets into longer term things. Maybe some other time. What would you do w/ $10K? (after taxes, of course)

2012/03/19 Posted by | Single malts | , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment