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Battling the terror

Rambler’s Blog, walk date 130416:19

Yesterday, I wanted to get into part 4 of the writing series but my head was in a funk after the Marathon bombing. I hadn’t watched the news in a long time and I thought watching it a little wouldn’t hurt. Of course I had nightmares last night and it affected my day today.

Every week, I have a set list of goals and then a few I think up that would make the “biggest impact,” on getting me “back,” meaning several things you’re likely to guess. I applied to 2 of 5 places I had in mind. This senseless violence was bothering me. I had been in a minimum of 6 motorcycle accidents, I was hoping my mind didn’t have hair-trigger PTSD anymore.

So I did many things today to… find inspiration, to reaffirm some faith in humanity. Things were going great the past few weeks, I wasn’t about to let some random asshole 2 time zones away ruin things.

I realized most of my thoughts are set up to be status updates: nice compact sentences. Here, my writing is also compacted, to get everything I have to think about a subject within a typewritten 2 column page. My other writing, I get to draw things out to capture every sense, answer all the w’s and yet stay focused on the point of what chapter/ memory is.

One of the things I like to do is visit the adopt a pets, but it also makes me sad. It’s sad I can’t afford to adopt a pair of older cats to take care of in their later years. It’s also sad that I can’t volunteer at any shelters, they favor those with a vehicle to get around to adoption locations to watch the animals and to bring supplies around. And there’s someone already to attend the 3 closest locations to where I am.

One of the greatest things is when I get to take off and explore things I haven’t done before. Thankfully I got to do that later on my trip. I decided that most of the local events I didn’t attend the past year or so to save money is something I need to do again. That also relates to something all these news stories of tragedies and closures got me thinking about. I want the innocence back in my life.

There are a lot of definitions of that. Is going back to childhood too far? Revisiting core beliefs may not be so bad, as long as I don’t dwell there. People quoted Mister Rogers after the bombing and I thought about what people took comfort in. Clearly Mister Rogers was to remind us older folk lessons we were shown as kids still can apply, maybe to pass on to the next generation. Muppets? Schoolhouse rock? Clifford? Fraggle Rock? Pooh bear?

Teen years, too can be innocence. Teenage kids are resigned to be without transportation and to be “have nots,” thinking that all it takes is to bide your time until you can go to college or turn 21 to be happy. There are many coming of age movies that don’t involve getting laid or stoned.

College kids are probably the last stage of innocence before being sent to a cubicle or other job that becomes their defining career. They have winter and spring break vacations to take on the snobs at the slopes or regatta contest. This is when you turn 21 and make all your first bar mistakes.

I decided this spring and summer to go to a lot of places I haven’t been to since I was little. I remember a lot of places I was taken on field trips are still around. There are a lot of places I should check in on, changes or (preferably) not.

And hopefully, if it’s easy to get to, they may even be hiring or accepting volunteers at least.

 

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2013/04/16 - Posted by | random trains of thought- choo choo | , , , , , , ,

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